Last night I made the decision to quit Second Life, and I have made this decision for a variety of reasons.
My primary reason is my RL. I am at school all day once a week, but for three nights a week (possibly more soon) I am busy doing homework. By the time that has finished and I’m ready to settle for the evening, I rarely want to go in-world but instead settle for browsing a few websites for entertainment before disappearing to my bed.
My second reason is for the last month or two, I have sat in-world on my own. This hasn’t necessarily been because I couldn’t join in with any activities, I chose not to a lot of the time. Taking part in such activities would mean having to spend time in close company with those that make my SL and RL a misery at the moment, and I would rather cut myself off completely from them and everyone else to avoid more nasty or awkward encounters.
Anyone who has known me for the last two years will know that I have been an open, friendly, bubbly and sociable person to be around. Particularly in the happy days of The Three Lions Pub where everyday to me was random, funny and exciting. Anyone who *really* knows me will know that that all disappeared about six months ago and overtime I have become hurt, bitter and angry, and that it is taking me an awful long time to come to terms with. I have been hurt badly in a way that I never thought I would before, I have been stabbed in the back by someone that I considered a close friend at one point, I have been critisised for my hurt behaviour around others when I felt I had every right to be angry. I have lost so much trust in those that I called my bestest of friends at one point. And I have been told “I hope you die” by the one person that I shared so much with, both in RL and SL.
Second Life has become an unhappy place, and it got to a point where I didn’t even know why I logged in anymore.
So last night, after making my feelings clear once again to the two people that I can’t stand the very existance of right now, I went to my land and removed every prim I had put down. As I was doing this I spent my last half an hour in SL with the one person who has never critisised and has always believed in me since I’ve known them. Who’s trust and loyalty has never been tarnished, and who I will miss more than she knows. It made clearing my land and editing my profile that bit more bearable that I had her company for one last time.
I took one last picture, and then I logged out.
I uninstalled the Second Life client, and redirected my offline IM’s and group notices to an email account that I don’t really check on a daily basis. Probably every two weeks or so.
I am considering the deletion of my Aribeth account altogether. Right now she will remain open and activated until I’ve had the chance to think on it for a couple of weeks.
To those that still care and still wish to talk to me, I already have your contact details via MSN or Skype. To those that I consider a friend, I have left you a small note in my profile. Read it and believe every word I say… I will miss you all.
I am still undecided as to what to do with both this blog and my Flickr account. I’m pretty sure I will change the name of my Flickr account and use it to start uploading RL photographs. I will give my contacts there a good clean up and only keep those that I consider a close friend. If you wish to remove yourself from my list then that’s fine. Any future pictures I upload will be protected and only viewable to friends.
I may keep this blog open for a few weeks or so, and then delete it. As I said, I’m still undecided. I will continue to read other peoples’ blogs from time to time, although I will understand if you remove me from your blogroll now.
As for returning to SL, I’m pretty sure it’ll happen one day. I just don’t know when. As my RL becomes busier with school, children activities, socialising and dating I doubt my return will happen soon. But I’ll never forget those that made my SL, and shaped me as a person in general during my time there.
Thank you for the memories. x
