Deception

This blog post has been in the pipelines for a few days now, however I have had RL company since last Friday and most things computer related have been put on hold until today! SL and most computer related business is back in business from now

So, yes. Deception within Second Life. This can be quite a touch and go subject when I really think about it, but it happens so often and to so many residents within Second Life that I didn’t think it could go a miss in writing about it.

Since I’ve been a Second Life resident I have witnessed many forms of deception caused by other residents. The biggest form of this is avatar appearances. One of the main purposes of Second Life is pretty much that; it’s a virtual world in which you can live a second life and be whoever you want, do whatever you want and talk to whoever you want. Unfortunately due to the vast majority of us that don’t like our RL appearance, it means that most people in SL tend to look the same. Beautiful, slim, well-built, athletic, gorgeous hair, smile, eyes, etc. You get the picture. Virtual creations of our dream body. And it doesn’t just stop at physical appearance! I’ve known people to completely change their personalities to suit their completely different avatar.

Because of this I think it’s quite hard to get an idea of what a particular resident within Second Life is really like. I know people that choose to keep their second lives in-world only, refusing to mesh that and their real life. I guess playing the game that way is the safest option… these people know when to draw the line as far as feelings and emotions are concerned, and I genuinely believe these people are honest about their intentions within the game. I have come across numerous profiles where residents have stated that they don’t mesh the two worlds together, and they’re not looking for a SL relationship. Kudos to you. Nobody gets hurt.

But what if you enter the world of Second Life with an optimistic view, knowing full well there’s the possiblity that you could meet people and get attached to them in the process? I joined SL with this view, I think. I certainly didn’t discount the fact that SL may cross my RL at some point. And thus lies the emotions and feelings of each resident, and that whatever happens in world can very much effect their real lives. I have fallen in love in Second Life, and that has effected my real life in more ways than one. I have formed true friendships in Second Life and placed *a lot* of trust in those people I’m friends with. I have even had one friend that I met in-world pay a bill for me, even though we’ve never met for real! Again effecting the course of my real life. Certainly not in a negative way, but you get my drift.

But what happens when you form a friendship, or a relationship, that was a lie right from the start? You think you’re falling in love with a twenty-something business person from Europe, when it actually turns out that they’ve been lying to you all along and are infact a teenage school drop out that’s currently unemployed? Or a forty-something drug dealer from.. I don’t know.. Russia! These are just random examples, but my question is do these people deserve your love and friendship? You are falling in love with *them*… their lifestyle and career is a part of who they are and what they do, and they’ve been lying to you about it. Would you be upset and angry and call it a day? Would you be hurt by their deception? Would you shrug it off and think it unimportant, it’s only a game at the end of the day.

My point is – what right do these people have to toy with emotions? What right to these people have to lie? What makes you think they deserve my friendship, loyalty and trust when they can’t give it back in return?

A classic example of this was from a resident I knew whom I originally met as a guy in their early twenties. Within some months their sexuality status changed from straight to gay. Within a few months after that it actually turned out that it wasn’t a guy, but a girl playing under a guy avatar. And to top that off I found out some more months after that that they lied about their age! All this time they were socialising and forming firm friendships with myself and my friends, gaining our trust and loyalty. When the truth came out, a fair few people were rather hurt… this person wasn’t who they originally made friends with in the first place, and as a result that trust was shattered and now it’s sometimes hard to believe a single word they say.

That person may of had very good reasons for deceiving people in the manner that they did, but deception is still deception, and it honestly made me stop and think twice about the people I was socialising with and whether they really were who they said they were in Second Life. And that’s highly unfair on the people that were actually telling the truth.

Some people after reading this might think “Well why do you care? It’s just a game!”. This is true. But it’s a game where real people and real emotions are involved. Real happiness and real heartbreak can happen. So then some people might say “Well that’s your own fault for investing too much emotion into a world where people hide behind masks” to which I reply with *why is it my fault*? Second Life is just another way of meeting and interacting with people across the globe – REAL people. Some people choose to keep it as a game, but for many it’s a big part of their social world! It’s another way of making new friends, of falling in love. Heck, I’ve even had a child as a result of falling in love in Second Life! I was just glad that the father was a genuine and honest person from day one.

So my overall point is, it’s good to keep an open mind while you continue to be a resident of Second Life. I think you have to be open and optimistic really, as there are many masks out there and many deceivers. But it’s the honest and trustworthy people that make it worth while.